Saturday, January 29, 2011

Welcome Party

Last night, we watched Inception.

Nothing was on, sounded pretty cool, so why the hell not.

Well, halfway through, He came back for the first time in a few days.

Sandra paused the movies, walked into the kitchen, and made good on her promise in a previous post.

Have you ever seen a petite teenage girl in sock monkey footie pajamas beat the shit out of a tall faceless man in a business suit?

Because it's funny as all hell.

Of course it didn't hurt Him, but He was surprised. He kept backing up, then finally just picked her up by the scruff of the neck, and she spit in His nonexistant face.

He dropped her, and she tackled Him around the legs. Due to the speed at which everything was happening, He was caught off guard and fell backwards. So she's got Him pinned while slapping his shit, He's trying to get back up, and Preston's freaking right the fuck out with his feathers up and aiming at Slender's face.

And Lya and I just sat there watching. Because how in the hell do you react to something like that?

Finally, Sandra got up, threw the fish at His face, picked up Preston, and sat back down to finish the movie. The entire time the fight was going on, nobody said a word.

And we continued on as if nothing happened.

Good God this is our life now.

-Matt

(As hilarious as it may sound?

Yeah, it was three times that much.)

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

She's safe

Searching For Answers.

Go look.

SHE'S ALRIGHT.

FUCKING YES.

It's been awhile since the tears around here were joyful, and dammit did I miss them.

-Sandra

Monday, January 24, 2011

A message for Slender

Ahem.

...FUCKSHITBITCHWHORETITWANKERTWAT-BERK-WHICH-YOU-PROBABLY-DON'T-KNOW-THE-MEANING-OF-BECAUSE-WHEN-YOU-WERE-ROOMIES-WITH-BAKURA-YOU-COULDN'T-HEAR-HIS-CURSING-OVER-THE-MUSIC-AND-CHICKS-JUST-SO-YOU-KNOW-IT'S-COCKNEY-RHYMING-SLANG-BECAUSE-BERKELY-HUNT-RHYMES-WITH-CUNT.

Swear to God, the moment that tall bastard gets back here I will beat Him over the head with an alaskan pollock.

A. Fucking. CHILD?!

Guh. What the fuck ever. Ava, all I can suggest is trying Jeff's method, so you've got it for now.

As for Mr. DICKNUGGET...

..fuck it. I'm pissed enough to rip His arms off.

LOOK AT THEM. LOOK AT YOUR NOT FULLY GROWN BACK SMALL ARMS AND FEEL SHAAAAAAME.

Aaaaand I'mdone.

-Sandra

(EDIT:

fffffFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCKKKKKKKK.

GODDAMN HOBOS SCREWING OVER FUTURE GENERATIONS.

I was looking over hobo signs in the hopes that, if M ever made it to our neck of the woods, he would understand them and we could meet up to talk and enjoy some fucking good coffee.

GUESS WHAT THEY USED TO SIGNIFY A GOOD HANDOUT. JUST FUCKING GUESS.

Here's a hintIT'S THA MOTHAFUCKING OPERATOR SYMBOL RAAAAAAAGE.

So hobos spread Slendy westward. IT'S THE ONLY LOGICAL CONCLUSION, THE DIRTY BASTARDS.

(Now chillens, please remember that Auntie Sandy is a leeeeettle on edge right now. It's not okay to blame hobos for all your problems. Also WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING READING THIS BLOG THIS SHIT BE R-RATED FOR OVER THE TOP CURSING AND RANDOM FUCKERY. BEGOOOOOOOOOONE.)

Dammit I'm using way too much all-caps and curses...BUT I'M PISSED.)

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Morale

We still have no news on Stephanie. Shit.

And proxies here are few and far between. Maybe sitting a box of razor wire out in the window scared them off, maybe it's Sandra screaming out the lyrics to half the "Wicked" soundtrack inbetween encore performances of The Sun's Gone Dim and the Giga Pudding commercial. And her ranting about how the Kung Fu Panda cartoon should've aired by now.

Good God she is such a child.

So inbetween trying to figure out how to get Ava's earring back to her and getting Preston off the ceiling fan, Sand urged me to put up the picture of Spindly Deer I drew for her months ago.

Remember, she got pissed after reading the "Santa's Evil Counterpart" theory because Santa has eight or nine reindeer (depending on which movie/show you're watching and whether or not Rudolph is canon), so I drew a deer for Slender to get her to shut up. And now she's insisting I put it up. Whatever.

It has no mouth. Make of that what you will.

And yup, that's a teeny tiny Operator Symbol after it's name.

I WAS BORED.

-Lya

Monday, January 17, 2011

Call to arms

About three days ago, Stephanie from Scared went missing. We have no clue where she (or Jack, for that matter) is, nor whether or not she left of her own will or was taken by proxies, whether from Him or ///It///.

THIS IS BAD, PEOPLE.

If you see any proxies, DETAIN. Don't kill unless attacked. Taze. Shoot to stun. We need information, and we need it now.

Stephanie is one of our own, a blogger and a runner just as we are. Let's try to avoid losing another family member.

And to all the blogging proxies out there...

This is a warning towards you. Some of you are smart enough to stay away. Others aren't. If we find you, we will catch you. We will interrogate you. If all else fails, we will find out who you are, where you're from, and take you home to face the authorities.

Give us reasons, try to harm us, and you won't have any options. We will kill you. And if we have to resort to using Slender to do so, then so be it. He won't leave us the fuck alone, might as well take what we can get.

I don't care if stating outright that we'll defend our physical wellbeing with deadly force makes us seem less trustworthy, or makes it seem we're stooping to their level.

I'm tired of watching people die and doing nothing.

Our arsenal is full of lethal and nonlethal weapons, and it's their choice which type we use.

I suggest the other runners prepare to fight, if only to save Stephanie.

-Lya

Hoso, if you're reading this, don't give up.

I'm playing Resolve right now, because it gives me resolve.

Thank you for your music, and the inspiration that comes with it.

We're still listening.

-Sandra

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Dumbasses

So. It appears we have a troll.

First off, when in the hell did it ever look like Sandra wanted in Slender's pants?! For Christ's sake, man, she's a teenager who lost her parents to the bastard! And apparently you didn't notice how freaked out she got when somebody mentioned that maybe she was His future bride, because she sure as hell wasn't too happy.

Second, it's pretty ballsy for you to accuse Him of being out of character when each of us have noticed Him acting differently in different situations. Hell, sometimes He doesn't even seem to have a personality, just a curiosity of humanity best expressed through killing people in sick sadistic ways.

Third, wow. Trying to get a rise out of her by posting what looks like Higurashi spoilers. Goddamn, you are so desperate to get us upset, aren't you.

Why don't you go back to bullying neighborhood kids. Or are you to afraid too be so bold when your face and name aren't hidden by a screen?

-Lya

EDIT: Yes! Had to log out and back in to get the comment delete button back. Now we can let Sandra back on without worry about her getting pissed over the spoilers.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

HOLY TITS

It's snowing. Like, HARD.

Fucking Texas weather, how does it work.

Seriously, it's been, at most, an hour and a half, and the first half hour it just melted into the wet ground. Now everything looks like a goddamn frosted flake.

...

If you'll excuse me, I must go prepare to test my hypothesis that the ultimate weapon against Slender is snowballs. Snowmissiles. Snownukes, maybe.

-Sandra

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Home

SWEET. JESUS.

We're finally back. And I need a nap so hardcore.

Not much to report. Just the usual asshattery around the house, resetting security systems while Slender stalks around and Preston acts like a dumbass.

All things considered, Christmas with Jack and Stephanie wasn't too terrifying. Except for the video Jack described, but we left before I checked his blog and found out about it.

I'm sick as shit with all the drama ///It/// keeps bringing around.

-Sandra