Friday, September 30, 2011

Quick update

Well fook me but my iPhone won't let me color the text. Dammit we actually have to say who we are beforehand now DAMN.

Well ladies and gents this is your lovely host Sandy who is more sickly than ever today, courtesy of not chronic Slendersickness but undead my fucking sinuses which appear to have given up on me like everything else in my damn stupid head. Sorry if I start with the rambling but Sandra and cough syrup cocktail dun really play niiiiiice.

So our bastard computer decided to have a giraffe on us meaning I have to do everything from the iPhone the big kids got for my birthday last week. While that's made reading RHU so much easier, it's made Tumblr sadface somehow. Thankfully I saved my fucking gif folder this time because it looks like we'll have to wipe the computer's ass ourselves.

Hokai I gotta go Rake is staring longingly at my new Pokemon Sapphire because it's been more than seven whole hours since I last played and so help me God I WILL get that Magikarp to not be useless sushi by tonight.
Alright here's hoping Hussie doesn't update before we fix the 'puter.

And remember kiddies, wrap your pecker before you deck her,


Sunday, September 18, 2011

What Went Down

So the last update before the fight was me grabbing a knife and running outside. That's the point when I started getting nervous we wouldn't be posting anymore. It was insane.

I started ramming the front door, and I guess the chair Matt and Lya wedged against it was rickety as hell because it only took about a minute for it to shatter. I got outside and damn near shat the eastern seaboard.

Slender and ///It/// were having the most intense and furious fight I've ever seen in my life. The static noises were almost a loud as a sonic boom, it was horrible. Matt and Lya were on either side shooting at ///It/// hoping for a distraction to give Slender an edge. Rake was lying on the ground behind Lya nursing what looked like a broken back leg. Finally, ///It/// did get distracted.

By the idiot human girl who stepped out of the safety of the house.

///It/// fucking lunged at me.

Matt and Lya didn't even get a chance to scream before Rake caught up and bit down on ///It///'s hand. I swear I heard a furious roar.

The best part: ///It/// bled.

They bleed.

This foul smelling black liquid starting gushing out. Rake hurt ///It///. I wanted to hug him.

Even moreso when ///It/// ripped him off and flung him at a tree, resulted in a horrific yelp of agony and the snapping of tree limbs and bones. Rake blacked out.

The humans all got pissed.

I threw the knife at ///It///, just barely hitting a shoulder but leaving not even a minor scratch.

Slender picked it up and flung the knife at ///It///'s head. Hit square between where the eyes would be, set off another waterfall of Eldy blood. It was serious, but apparently not fatal, because ///It/// still tackled Slender and started tearing into Him. He pulled out the knife and began stabbing. ///It/// finally got the hint that we were far from playing around and now knew that ///It/// could be hurt, and darted off.

No humans were hurt, but Rake had several snapped ribs and a broken leg, and Slender's suit was ripped to pieces revealing several oozing gashes. We made a stretcher out of bed sheets to carry in Rake while Slender stayed outside waiting for the wounds to close up and wash Himself off.

We treated Rake, got him all wrapped up, then went outside to get some samples of the blood.

Good God the smell of it. Like old copper and gasoline. And it was ink black. But other than that, almost exactly like human blood. Warm, slightly slick, easily washed out of the grass with the hose. The grass where it was didn't die, and it didn't leave ugly stains. It was disturbing how similar it was to normal blood.

Rake has been sleeping on the couch. I brought out my fishbowl and sat it on the end table so he can watch Pudge swim. He likes watching him swim. He'll be okay. We know that now, but last night we were panicking. He jumped in to save me and got fucked up for it.

Good zombie puppy. Best zombie puppy.

Slender's wounds closed up in less than an hour and He came out of the guest room a few minutes ago in a brand new suit. Red tie today.

They bleed, guys. Human weapons in the hands of Eldys can make others bleed.



We're all alive. We've got someone to fucking thank and some lucky stars or something because I don't even know how the fuck what just happened is even survivable

I might curl into a ball and cry. Or vomit.

And Jesus the smell of that shit is so strong

Matt's getting some samples of it, Slender's washing Himself off outside, and Lya's taking care of Rake

Oh God Rake

It's all my fault I don't want him to die I don't want him to die please I don't want him to die


Saturday, September 17, 2011

Fuck that

Rake is outside screaming in rage and pain, Matt and Lya have out the big guns, Slender is pissed to hell, the big kids have wedged something against the doors to keep me in

And ///It/// is outside right now.

Fuck all of this. Whatever happens now I am fucking SICK of this wannabe prickstain. I'm going downstairs to get a knife and so help me God something will break, be it the door, whatevers blocking it, or my shoulder.

Peace out bitches. Here's hoping we're all still here tomorrow.



The Hiatus continues, it seems.

First off, to whoever sent the Luka video link: didn't really see anything weird. But good song. And the barbed wire was a lovely touch.

So today, we went to see Contagion. And holy shit I loved it. And I cried. And laughed. And got really really pissed off at Jude Law's character. That movie was scarier than most horror movies.

But now Rake's being a hypochondriac baby and not letting anybody near him. Don't think Eldys can catch human diseases, so he's either being dramatic for the sake of humor or a total pussy. I asked Slender what He thought...He was standing a few yards away. Walked over to ask Him, He Offscreen Teleported when I blinked.

I am surrounded by Eldritch Pussies.

Who wants to be the tall bitch is gonna just walk in here any moment wearing a surgical mas





Monday, September 5, 2011


School's back in here, the woods are once again quiet, and the proxy wars are still on a sort of hiatus. Slender seems bored recently, but we're still, as one commenter said, distracting the big guy.

Rake's been content. He mostly naps, eats, or watches me mess around on Tumblr.

And there's been a stir in the comments: somebody's gone over to the ///It/// side. BAD idea. We haven't seen anybody, but as far as we know ///It/// can transfer "invisibility" as well.


Now if you'll excuse me, we've got a horror movie to watch.