Monday, January 17, 2011

Call to arms

About three days ago, Stephanie from Scared went missing. We have no clue where she (or Jack, for that matter) is, nor whether or not she left of her own will or was taken by proxies, whether from Him or ///It///.

THIS IS BAD, PEOPLE.

If you see any proxies, DETAIN. Don't kill unless attacked. Taze. Shoot to stun. We need information, and we need it now.

Stephanie is one of our own, a blogger and a runner just as we are. Let's try to avoid losing another family member.

And to all the blogging proxies out there...

This is a warning towards you. Some of you are smart enough to stay away. Others aren't. If we find you, we will catch you. We will interrogate you. If all else fails, we will find out who you are, where you're from, and take you home to face the authorities.

Give us reasons, try to harm us, and you won't have any options. We will kill you. And if we have to resort to using Slender to do so, then so be it. He won't leave us the fuck alone, might as well take what we can get.

I don't care if stating outright that we'll defend our physical wellbeing with deadly force makes us seem less trustworthy, or makes it seem we're stooping to their level.

I'm tired of watching people die and doing nothing.

Our arsenal is full of lethal and nonlethal weapons, and it's their choice which type we use.

I suggest the other runners prepare to fight, if only to save Stephanie.

-Lya

Hoso, if you're reading this, don't give up.

I'm playing Resolve right now, because it gives me resolve.

Thank you for your music, and the inspiration that comes with it.

We're still listening.

-Sandra

48 comments:

  1. Jack did not respond as to their whereabouts even when concerning the goddamn state.
    Just tell me, where the fuck SHOULD I take the Nova?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Wherever you can get where nobody knows you. Ask around with other bloggers, some runners have several hiding places set aside that can be shared. If you need, you might be able to find one and set up shop.

    Many hidey holes also have decent stockpiles of weapons and defensive supplies too. And joining others should help exponentially.

    -Lya

    ReplyDelete
  3. "If we find you, we will catch you. We will interrogate you. If all else fails, we will find out who you are, where you're from, and take you home to face the authorities."

    YOU DON'T HAVE TO COME AND CONFESS. WE GON' FIND YOU. SO YOU CAN RUN AND TELL THAT, HOMEBOY.
    http://www.bestweekever.tv/bwe/images/2010/07/Antoine-Dodson-Dumb.gif

    ReplyDelete
  4. ...And now Slender as the Bed Intruder will haunt me in my sleep. That's some funny shit.

    Somebody needs to make a video of that.

    -Sandra

    ReplyDelete
  5. HE RAPIN' ERRBODY OUT THURRR.

    That's a pity, I actually like her.

    Can't you sic your pet on the other Slenderman? You could actively do something to help?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Ask and ye shall receive, dear Sandra.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EknMZ8ypnZ0

    ReplyDelete
  7. @Lya - I don't "set up shop". I'm on the goddamn move. Consider me armed. To approximate where I am, without revealing my location outright, I can easily be in Kansas, Arkansas, Missouri or Oklahoma right now. Take your pick.
    Green chevrolet Nova with unkempt blond driver and sledgehammer in the back is me.

    I am on copious amounts of caffeine now. Pure caffeine. Departing soon. Aim me, if you will.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Once again, He isn't her pet, He rarely does listen to h- Oh fuck it SLENDY GO KILL SOME SHIT.

    *everything magically gets better and Sandra and Slendy's UST is resolved and they have SO MANY ABNORMALLY FAST BABIES DEEEEESUUUUUU.* /sarcasm

    -Matt

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  9. Is it bad that that made me laugh like a maniac, Matt...?

    Anyway, on a serious note, I'll be on the lookout for anything of use. I don't know how much help I can be, but I'll do what I can. Good luck, you guys. Be safe.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Not really. Nobody's funnier when they're pissed than Matt.

    And Holly, THANK YOU FOR THE VIDEO LINK.

    I cried.

    -Sandra

    ReplyDelete
  11. We'll see what we can do on our end, Sandra.

    Jack, we'll get her back.
    I promise.

    -Jeff and Cheska
    The Keeper and Chessmistress

    ReplyDelete
  12. The fuck?! Who the hell would want babies with that?! I may think you're dumb. I don't think you're fucking RETARDED/have some seriously sick fetishes and HOW THE--

    Woah. That just broke my tiny mind.

    FFFFFFFFFF I have some bad mindimages now. And I've seen Rule 34 of Slendy and the Burger King.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I just cackled like a vampire for 5 minutes.

      Delete
  13. ...Did....did d-artagan not see the /sarcasm tag?

    ...Wow. Uh, okay....WOW.

    Slender and the Bur-No. I DON'T WANT TO KNOW.

    Fuck the internet with a double-bladed lightsaber, THAT SHIT IS UNHOLY.

    -Lya

    ReplyDelete
  14. I may be both a bitch and a troll, but I'm not blind. I'm referring to whomsoever it was that said that one of you wants to shag Slendy~

    Which would be utterly lol-worthy.

    ReplyDelete
  15. And in response to the Rule 34.

    Please, for the love of all that may or may not be holy DO. NOT. THINK. ABOUT. IT. I may not like you, but I wouldn't wish that shit on my worst enemy. XD

    ReplyDelete
  16. iraged seems to think Sandra wants to.

    Seriously though, I'm not even sure He has the "equipment".

    And I'm trying, but it's like saying, "HAY YOUR BREATHING IS NOW SET TO MANUAL" and not expecting someone to start hyperventilating.

    -Lya

    ReplyDelete
  17. Oh god, in morbid masochism, I just googled the 34.

    IT from Stephen King and and Slenderman. In an animated movie.

    I'm going to quote Dr Cox and a I'M GAGGING AND VOMITING AT THE SAME TIME. I'M GA-VOMITING.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Going along the assumptions that I 'think' she wants to sleep with him, as well as quotes from great TV doctors:

    "The problem with speculation is you make a spec out of 'u' and some guy named 'lation,' which...doesn't affect me at all."

    ReplyDelete
  19. You're welcome iraged.

    Also OH MY GOD NOT PENNYWISE OH GOD THE BALLOONS.

    -Sandra

    ReplyDelete
  20. WOAH WOAH WOAH. IRAGED. DID I JUST SPY AN 8 SIMPLE RULES REFERENCE?!

    New favourite person right there.

    Good lord people, what the hell time is it over there?! I'm only up because my cancer-riddled kitty needed an op and I have to keep her under observation.

    YES THE BALLLOONS. I think I just lost that tiny, tiny spark of hope I had for the human race. It's been snuffed out. XD

    ReplyDelete
  21. The interaction between you guys is too funny. I am seriously having a giggle fit.

    ReplyDelete
  22. BALLOONS ARE TERRIFYING.

    They'll kill you after your review, and Rob will have a damn fit. x3

    And good luck with your kitty getting better. Sick pets make for sad, sad times.

    -Sandra

    ReplyDelete
  23. Oh, and it's 9:55 where I am right now.

    -Sandra

    ReplyDelete
  24. STOP GIGGLING.

    SLENDERMAN RULE 34 WITH PENNYWISE AND THE BURGER KING IS TTLY SRS BSNS, BETCHFACE. ¬____¬

    I'm a pioneering new breed of troll. The Actually Rather Amiable Londoner Troll. I live under London Bridge don't you know?

    Having said that, there have been no Slendies in good ole Londinium yet...

    Hnnnnn.

    ReplyDelete
  25. 9:55.

    GODDAMN YOU ALL, YOU AMERICANS.

    It's 4AM.

    I have not slept in days due to kitty X_x

    Eeeh, she's getting better.

    Any news on Stephanie? For some reason Chrome won't let me go back to Scared and I'm highly concerned.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Well, fuck.
    ...
    Which is apparently what cosmic horrors are doing in the internet. I still havent forgotten Zalgo/Slendy/Chthulhu. >_<

    ReplyDelete
  27. Oh god, you too? X_x

    I still can't get over the fact that there's a whole branch of Cuthulurotica.

    I hate people sometimes.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Hmm...didn't Lack of Lexicon take place in Britain? Where exactly was Lexi when He saw Him? And what the hell happened to those guys, it's been friggin' ages.

    And NO. NO. That Zalgo/Cthulu/Slender shit DID NOT HAPPEN. IT DID NOT. THAT SHIT IS NOT OUT THERE CORRUPTING PEOPLE.

    FUCK. YOU. INTERNET.

    -Lya

    (No news on Stephanie, so we're still on high alert.)

    ReplyDelete
  29. You know, I'd have to see, but it could just be that there are less people who know of Slimjim over here. I mean, hell, we have scarier people. Ever seen Jimmy Saville?

    O.O

    He used to be a children's entertainer in the 80's.

    INTERNET HAS ISSUES.

    I HAVE A SUBSCRIPTION.

    (Aw crap. She's gone missing like this before and hasn't been good when she got back...)

    ReplyDelete
  30. Ah.

    Uhm.

    Lexicon seems to be...well. Not alive anymore. Not only is the blog cleared, but the Twitter page has been inactive since November and the last post was in what appears to be either Welsh or gibberish.

    Then again, even to the Welsh, Welsh is gibberish.

    ReplyDelete
  31. No clue who Saville is, but he CAN'T be scarier than the trololo guy.

    Sad. I kinda miss A. Such an affable little bastard.

    -Sandra

    ReplyDelete
  32. Not to sound stupid... but who, or better yet, what is this ///it/// you keep speaking of? If i can find out somewhere in the older post, please tell me. I feel uninformed! :(

    ReplyDelete
  33. Affable Evil. The best kind, after all. XD

    Trolololololololololololololooo

    Statler and Waldorf laugh in the face of Trololo guy and then make him feel small.

    ReplyDelete
  34. .............

    I have a feeling that something's happened to this dynamic and I'm not sure I mind.

    >>

    ReplyDelete
  35. Pfft. I miss the Muppet Show...I used to have the boxed set on dvd. And Sandy Duncan could friggin' DANCE.

    On a note totally unrelated to everything previously discussed, who else saw the trailer for "Battle: Los Angeles" and immediately looked up the song? BECAUSE IT'S AWESOME.

    And to D'Artagan, a) I'll light a candle in memory of your one red leather shoe that is no longer with us *anguished cry* and b) THEY REALLY MISLABELED THE AXISES OR WHATEVER THE PLURAL IS?! That's a level 15 geek-sin! Did Sheldon catch it and bitch them out?! D=

    -Sandra

    ReplyDelete
  36. PUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDI

    ReplyDelete
  37. IT WAS SHELDON'S MISTAKE!!! THE PROP GUYS OBVIOUSLY MADE A MISTAKE AND NO-ONE SAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.

    THERE'S ONLY ONE REASON.

    WHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEAAAAATTTTTTTOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!1

    And thank you. It was a horrible, terrible and barbaric end to such a lovely shoe.

    Muppet Christmas Carol > Actual Christmas Carol.

    Actually.

    Muppet Anything > Anything on EARTH.

    ...

    Muppet Slenderman?


    @iraged

    GIGA PUDDI?

    Have you noticed they EAT THEMSELVES?!

    ReplyDelete
  38. Aaaanndddd just looked up the track OMGFUCKYESBITCHES.

    ReplyDelete
  39. GIGA MOTHERFUCKIN' PUDDI.

    Everyone thinks that commercial is annoying, but I find it adorable. The kid's voice is too cute.

    ReplyDelete
  40. Okay, I haven't seen that before, but HOLY CRAP THAT'S HOW BITCHES SELL PUDDING.

    I want some. NOW. It looks yummy.

    And REALLY?! Sheldon's mistake? FUCKING WESLEY.

    -Sandra

    ReplyDelete
  41. I keep searching... but she's nowhere. I can't go outside, ///It///'s there. Drew is too rarely. I keep looking... but it keeps growing more bleak. It may be all over soon.

    Very soon.

    ~Jack

    ReplyDelete
  42. JACK! YOU'RE ALIVE!

    You BASTARD. You sound like you're giving up.

    I will sooner scratch your heart out of your chest with a fork than have you give up. Than have ANYONE give up. It's bad enough that Darby's being Taken, I'm being followed and some guy on American radio broadcasted to the ENTIRE AMERICAS that he's having nightmares about a "No-Faced Killer" but we can't have EVERYONE have some fucking breakdown.

    I will /actually/ kick you in the shins.

    ~Ava

    ReplyDelete
  43. Seconded.

    You son of a bitch. You have too many people who love the shit out of you to give up.

    Get a shotgun and hit ///It/// in the face, or throw firecrackers, or run that bastard over with a Hummer, but don't you dare just give the fuck up.

    And I'm gonna sound like a bitch for saying this, but if you give up, and we find Stephanie, she will be SO PISSED. She loves you like nothing else matters, and that would hurt her more than anything anybody could do.

    You get out there, look for her, and FUCKING FIGHT.

    -Sandra

    ReplyDelete
  44. Won't quit.

    Not yet.

    Thank you. The situation is bleak however. No signs of progress yet.

    At all.

    ~Jack

    ReplyDelete
  45. Don't bother with threats. These people are barely even human.

    ReplyDelete
  46. Hi Lya, Sandra, whoever. Is it not normal is SM touches you and you're head hurts like hell and there is a creepy red crow following you around? I named it Daei though. (always wanted to name a crow that)

    ReplyDelete