Hot DAMN.
We almost got tornado'd in the ass.
At first we just went out on the porch admiring the hailstones (ping-pong sized). Rake watched from the windows, because apparently the earlier storm where the lights went out was indeed funfunfunFUN for him outside...
So we're oohing and ahhing, admiring the stones...
*reeeEEEEEOOOOOOwrrrrrrr*
Wellup, we're either in Silent Hill or there's a pissed off wind formation heading our way.
We booked it into the cellar with the animals and the weirdos. I'm in there dual-wielding Preston and my inhaler, Lya's snuggling with Blitz off in Don'tGiveAFuck Corner, Matt's just lying there bored, and Rake's glancing around the room looking for a place to hang out.
Slender found a spare chalkboard. Three guesses as to what the fucker wrote. First two don't count.
"Takesolaceintherain"
Motherfucker.
Asked Him why he ignores spaces here. He shrugged. I'm thinking He's just trying to piss us off.
Storm ends. Happyfacing resumes.
Got two emails so far on CellarDoor-X-@hotmail.com . One from Aiden of IdyllicClone who seems to be living in a 'safe zone', one from Alex, who was saved by Slender but is now beng stalked because he attacked Him instead of sending a thank-you note. (Seriously what does the big fucker expect, He's TERRIFYING, nobody's gonna react by pledging undying allegiance or with gift baskets...) Love received, buddies. Thanks for the well-wishing and 10x back to you.
Keep it up, guys.
-Sandra
(Oh, and Trinity? Yup. Rake got scared by a fucking toaster. Hilarity ensued.)
EDIT:
http://ihavetorun.blogspot.com/2011/05/days-fly-by.html
8D
~Jack's OK, and he's back, OK
He's all right
Let's shout, make a fuss
Scream it out, wheee
Jack is back now, everyone sing
In our town of Hal-~...
...Well fuck. Not really a town so much as an interconnecting web of blogs.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Saturday, May 21, 2011
TOO FRIGGIN' QUIET
Where in the fuck is everyone? All I've seen the past two weeks is Rose.
Jack? You still okay? Or can't get to a computer? Ava?
...WHERE THE FUCK HAS M BEEN ALL THESE MONTHS. Did I miss a memo?
Shit. All this quiet is freaking me out.
Anything but quiet out here on the Slendy-///It/// homefront. Slenderproxies tried to ambush some ///It///derps the other day, but were counterattacked. Slender shooed us out, and we came back to find the words bitchbitchbitchbitchBITCH all over the chalkboard, a whole pack of chalk crushed into dust into the carpet, and the big boy perusing my bookshelf nonchalantly looking for something that wasn't a dimestore horror book or untouched Harry Potter/heavily worn at the spine Artemis Fowls.
Fucker broke my chalk.
Rakeass has been pretty tame. He tried to apologize the other day; chucked a bowl of popcorn at the sunuvabitch. He started sniffing at it. I think he's new to human food. I hope the salt I all but soak my popcorn in gives the arm-cutting shitter a coronary.
Bitter? Me? Fuck no.
He's quite like a man-puppy. Runs around nekkid sniffing shit and sitting by the couch when we play games or watch tv. And by sitting, I mean his limbs are all over the fucking place. I think he's quadruple jointed or something. Or has no bones at all. Though he is skinny enough for his ribs to stick out. So maybe he should be eating human food....A SKINNY PERSON IN 'MERICA? Get tha fuck out.
Am I rambling? Yeah.
And when I say puppy, I mean it. After another attempt at apologizing (I SWEAR when he talks I imagine he speaks in Zalgo text...IT'S LIKE AUDIO DISTORTION AS A LANGUAGE, ENUNCIATE YOUR WORDS, ASSHOLE) I told him he shouldn't have even tried it in the first place; Slendeytentacle out of nowhere bopped him on the head. I think that noise he made was a whimper. Or Hell. Either works.
Bet the Eldritch Abomination version of Facebook will never let this down. "Rake you silly fucker you tried to mess with that bitch? YOU CRAZEH? Bitch taunts fucking Slender, what the hell did you think would happen, she'd thank you and that mentally challenged chicken of hers would shit rainbows?"
...I need medication.
Also, please note that subconjunctival hemorrhages are NOT FUN. MY EYES ARE CURSED. This is the only one I have left an it decides 'lolfucku' and bleeds inside for no reason? What? Caused by stress? DO I SOUND LIKE I'M STRESSED MOTHERFUCKER DO YOUR JOB AND DON'T MAKE ME LOOK LIKE I TOKED UP FIVE MINUTES AGO!
So, NEW IDEUHHHHH.
Certainly, I can't be the only one who deals with shit like this. I've heard several whispers and rumors about the Slendercommunity that He's been altruistic to others. Anybody know anything? Stories they want told? Anyone with previous encounters with ///It/// or the Rake(bitch)?
Comment. Give us something to work with. Even if you heard it from your aunt's cousin's friend's neighbor's brother's proctologist. Long-ass story or timeline that would fit better in a full blogpost? Blog or site pertaining to the situation? Email me.
CellarDoor-X-@hotmail.com
My hotmail. The blog's registered under Lya's, and she doesn't want to fish through a bajillion messages if we get a response.
-Sandra
So...many...allcaps...*dies*
Jack? You still okay? Or can't get to a computer? Ava?
...WHERE THE FUCK HAS M BEEN ALL THESE MONTHS. Did I miss a memo?
Shit. All this quiet is freaking me out.
Anything but quiet out here on the Slendy-///It/// homefront. Slenderproxies tried to ambush some ///It///derps the other day, but were counterattacked. Slender shooed us out, and we came back to find the words bitchbitchbitchbitchBITCH all over the chalkboard, a whole pack of chalk crushed into dust into the carpet, and the big boy perusing my bookshelf nonchalantly looking for something that wasn't a dimestore horror book or untouched Harry Potter/heavily worn at the spine Artemis Fowls.
Fucker broke my chalk.
Rakeass has been pretty tame. He tried to apologize the other day; chucked a bowl of popcorn at the sunuvabitch. He started sniffing at it. I think he's new to human food. I hope the salt I all but soak my popcorn in gives the arm-cutting shitter a coronary.
Bitter? Me? Fuck no.
He's quite like a man-puppy. Runs around nekkid sniffing shit and sitting by the couch when we play games or watch tv. And by sitting, I mean his limbs are all over the fucking place. I think he's quadruple jointed or something. Or has no bones at all. Though he is skinny enough for his ribs to stick out. So maybe he should be eating human food....A SKINNY PERSON IN 'MERICA? Get tha fuck out.
Am I rambling? Yeah.
And when I say puppy, I mean it. After another attempt at apologizing (I SWEAR when he talks I imagine he speaks in Zalgo text...IT'S LIKE AUDIO DISTORTION AS A LANGUAGE, ENUNCIATE YOUR WORDS, ASSHOLE) I told him he shouldn't have even tried it in the first place; Slendeytentacle out of nowhere bopped him on the head. I think that noise he made was a whimper. Or Hell. Either works.
Bet the Eldritch Abomination version of Facebook will never let this down. "Rake you silly fucker you tried to mess with that bitch? YOU CRAZEH? Bitch taunts fucking Slender, what the hell did you think would happen, she'd thank you and that mentally challenged chicken of hers would shit rainbows?"
...I need medication.
Also, please note that subconjunctival hemorrhages are NOT FUN. MY EYES ARE CURSED. This is the only one I have left an it decides 'lolfucku' and bleeds inside for no reason? What? Caused by stress? DO I SOUND LIKE I'M STRESSED MOTHERFUCKER DO YOUR JOB AND DON'T MAKE ME LOOK LIKE I TOKED UP FIVE MINUTES AGO!
So, NEW IDEUHHHHH.
Certainly, I can't be the only one who deals with shit like this. I've heard several whispers and rumors about the Slendercommunity that He's been altruistic to others. Anybody know anything? Stories they want told? Anyone with previous encounters with ///It/// or the Rake(bitch)?
Comment. Give us something to work with. Even if you heard it from your aunt's cousin's friend's neighbor's brother's proctologist. Long-ass story or timeline that would fit better in a full blogpost? Blog or site pertaining to the situation? Email me.
CellarDoor-X-@hotmail.com
My hotmail. The blog's registered under Lya's, and she doesn't want to fish through a bajillion messages if we get a response.
-Sandra
So...many...allcaps...*dies*
Friday, May 6, 2011
Aw shit.
In hindsight, we should've predicted something like this. I mean, if the Rake is indeed curious enough to come see what the fuss over Sandra is about, why wouldn't he be curious enough to "leave his mark"?
I knew he was able to get in the house somehow; I saw him in here yesterday. He was just sitting on the couch, looking curiously at Blitz, who was lying on the floor generally not caring that he was being stared at. I said out loud that if he even thought about it I would sit on him. He looked up and tilted his head curiously. Dammit there was so much deja vu from the early days with Slender. Except the Rake actually has a face. Sort of. Up close, his eyes are ginormous. Not really a visible nose, or any lips to indicate a mouth, though I think I saw him drinking some water out by the creek earlier this week.
Anyways, onto the story. And prepare the mistrust cannons, because WOUND'T YA FUCKING KNOW IT, Sandy appears to be immune to the Rake as well.
"Ohmaigod what the hell is up with her why is she immune is she really working with them to kill people is she not human is she the physical embodiement of all things Sue-"
...
"Hey wait what is there to be immune to?"
Oh Idunno, maybe whatever it is that kept Alex from waking up while his arms were cut all to hell?
If you just paused for a second before muttering "Oshit", you see where this is going.
We all wake up around an hour ago because dammit we still haven't gotten used to horrific screams in the night. We run into Sandra's room.
The Rake is against the far wall looking from his claws to Sandra's arm wondering what the fuck was happening, Slender is next to Sandra trying to pry her wounded arm away from the grip of her other hand so He can examine it while simultaneously shooting invisible daggers at the befuddled Rake, Preston's having a panic attack in his cage, but is unseen due to the blanket draped over it. Blitz is just lying down in the doorway wondering who dares raise hell in his domain.
Sandra now has one deep, but relatively small gash across her right arm. And is pissed beyond all reason, calling Mr. Rake everything but a good ol' boy and threatening the shoving of very many large items up very many small holes.
He's sitting in the living room now. Still looks confused. If it wasn't for the annoyance he caused, his look of pure befuddlement would be funny as hell.
-Lya
I knew he was able to get in the house somehow; I saw him in here yesterday. He was just sitting on the couch, looking curiously at Blitz, who was lying on the floor generally not caring that he was being stared at. I said out loud that if he even thought about it I would sit on him. He looked up and tilted his head curiously. Dammit there was so much deja vu from the early days with Slender. Except the Rake actually has a face. Sort of. Up close, his eyes are ginormous. Not really a visible nose, or any lips to indicate a mouth, though I think I saw him drinking some water out by the creek earlier this week.
Anyways, onto the story. And prepare the mistrust cannons, because WOUND'T YA FUCKING KNOW IT, Sandy appears to be immune to the Rake as well.
"Ohmaigod what the hell is up with her why is she immune is she really working with them to kill people is she not human is she the physical embodiement of all things Sue-"
...
"Hey wait what is there to be immune to?"
Oh Idunno, maybe whatever it is that kept Alex from waking up while his arms were cut all to hell?
If you just paused for a second before muttering "Oshit", you see where this is going.
We all wake up around an hour ago because dammit we still haven't gotten used to horrific screams in the night. We run into Sandra's room.
The Rake is against the far wall looking from his claws to Sandra's arm wondering what the fuck was happening, Slender is next to Sandra trying to pry her wounded arm away from the grip of her other hand so He can examine it while simultaneously shooting invisible daggers at the befuddled Rake, Preston's having a panic attack in his cage, but is unseen due to the blanket draped over it. Blitz is just lying down in the doorway wondering who dares raise hell in his domain.
Sandra now has one deep, but relatively small gash across her right arm. And is pissed beyond all reason, calling Mr. Rake everything but a good ol' boy and threatening the shoving of very many large items up very many small holes.
He's sitting in the living room now. Still looks confused. If it wasn't for the annoyance he caused, his look of pure befuddlement would be funny as hell.
-Lya
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Saw It
And heard it.
It was only a split second...
He's a LOT scarier in person, let me tell you. Of course, pale nekkid things with huge ass claws darting past while whispering out in the language of the elder gods adds to said freak the fuck out factor, but I digress.
Slender seems annoyed, but not incredibly pissed, so I have a feeling the Rake isn't as big of a problem as the proxies and ///It///.
Matt said he saw it resting on a tree branch outside. Just lounging.
I repeat. The FUCKING RAKE is lounging around Slenderturf like Douchebag Steve.
...Slender you sonofabitch you were supposed to kill me last year.
-Sandra
It was only a split second...
He's a LOT scarier in person, let me tell you. Of course, pale nekkid things with huge ass claws darting past while whispering out in the language of the elder gods adds to said freak the fuck out factor, but I digress.
Slender seems annoyed, but not incredibly pissed, so I have a feeling the Rake isn't as big of a problem as the proxies and ///It///.
Matt said he saw it resting on a tree branch outside. Just lounging.
I repeat. The FUCKING RAKE is lounging around Slenderturf like Douchebag Steve.
...Slender you sonofabitch you were supposed to kill me last year.
-Sandra
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Near Miss
HOW'RE YOU ENJOYING THE WINDS, MISTER-NAKED-THING-WHO-MIGHT-BE-THE-RAKE?!
Welcome to East Texas. =D
I have survived Slendysickness, attempted rape, a car accident, ///It///-kidnapping, attempted Proxy-kidnappings, attempted murders, Slendydeath-faking, and Preston, and the last hour scared the shit out of me like I've never even thought possible.
The wind made me its bitch.
For those who don't live in Texas, we just got out of some severe thunderstorms that MIGHT have made tornados. Maybe. Still fuzzy.
I was halfway through Spoony's SWAT 4 walkthrough when the power just fucking left. A little something you might not be aware of: the dark, especially when enveloping you with no warning, IS FUCKING TERRIFYING. I still sleep with hallway lights on or the TV. Panic ensued. Lya and Matt were shouting at me to head for the cellar, Preston was having a fit, the wind was screaming, and I was in full on Freak the Fuck Out mode. Then I saw a little beam of light in the hallway and thought, for half a second, "fuck it finally happened I died".
It was Slender. Carrying a flashlight. Crimes against human existance be damned I almost hugged the son of a bitch.
Almost.
He handed me the light and followed Preston and I to the cellar. Matt, Lya, and Blitz were already waiting. Slender stayed outside in case any Proxies were stupid enough to try to break in.
I was born in Texas, and raised here for seven years, but I've never had such a close call. The constant moves around the country always managed to avoid crazy storms like this. So I did what came naturally. I freaked the almighty fuck out.
Thankfully, it didn't last long. Winds died down, He knocked on the door, angels sang.
...I fucking hate Texas weather.
-Sandra
Welcome to East Texas. =D
I have survived Slendysickness, attempted rape, a car accident, ///It///-kidnapping, attempted Proxy-kidnappings, attempted murders, Slendydeath-faking, and Preston, and the last hour scared the shit out of me like I've never even thought possible.
The wind made me its bitch.
For those who don't live in Texas, we just got out of some severe thunderstorms that MIGHT have made tornados. Maybe. Still fuzzy.
I was halfway through Spoony's SWAT 4 walkthrough when the power just fucking left. A little something you might not be aware of: the dark, especially when enveloping you with no warning, IS FUCKING TERRIFYING. I still sleep with hallway lights on or the TV. Panic ensued. Lya and Matt were shouting at me to head for the cellar, Preston was having a fit, the wind was screaming, and I was in full on Freak the Fuck Out mode. Then I saw a little beam of light in the hallway and thought, for half a second, "fuck it finally happened I died".
It was Slender. Carrying a flashlight. Crimes against human existance be damned I almost hugged the son of a bitch.
Almost.
He handed me the light and followed Preston and I to the cellar. Matt, Lya, and Blitz were already waiting. Slender stayed outside in case any Proxies were stupid enough to try to break in.
I was born in Texas, and raised here for seven years, but I've never had such a close call. The constant moves around the country always managed to avoid crazy storms like this. So I did what came naturally. I freaked the almighty fuck out.
Thankfully, it didn't last long. Winds died down, He knocked on the door, angels sang.
...I fucking hate Texas weather.
-Sandra
Friday, April 22, 2011
Relatively Quiet
Believe it or not, despite the continual proxy wars, Sandra managing to get out every few nights and coming back with no memory, and, you know, a tentacled man wandering around, it's been pretty calm here.
We've gone out to see some movies, played around in the woods, normal shit we used to do before our lives revolved around keeping Sandra hidden and trying to simultaneously fend off ///It/// and stay on His do-not-slaughter list.
Speaking of the big guy, He's been more taciturn than usual recently. You'd think the constant ass-whupping of His little soldiers would have Him on edge, or at least a little more bloodstained than usual, but...nope. Just watching from the trees or standing in doorways or behind couches during bouts of videogames and tv. We'd normally find it unsettling but we're kinda grateful. As long as there's no dead children being used to take out His frustrations, so be it. Hell, it's what we're good at now, watching for patterns yet inwardly sighing with relief when He deviates in a peaceful way. We're Watchers. Or Avoid-Getting-Fucked-Up-ers.
Sandra, however, has been a bit high-strung. By that, we mean more child-at-heart-ish. While still keeping her daily swear average steady. She chased around a butterfly for about half an hour, then shrieked like a damn banshee when Slender caught it in His fist, thinking He'd crush it.
He just opened His hand, looked it over for a bit, and let it go.
He's so calm recently He can't even be fucked to kill a butterfly.
...How do you take a whole bottle of Xanax without a mouth?
I'm just hoping things stay quiet. Proxy Wars be damned, things are almost idyllic here.
Okay, hang on, Slender's outside and His tentacles are out. He does not look happ
What the fuck-something just ran through the bushes.
I don't think it was ///It////...
I'm pretty sure ///It/// still wears clothes...
Goddammit Matt, you just HAD to tempt fate.
We've gone out to see some movies, played around in the woods, normal shit we used to do before our lives revolved around keeping Sandra hidden and trying to simultaneously fend off ///It/// and stay on His do-not-slaughter list.
Speaking of the big guy, He's been more taciturn than usual recently. You'd think the constant ass-whupping of His little soldiers would have Him on edge, or at least a little more bloodstained than usual, but...nope. Just watching from the trees or standing in doorways or behind couches during bouts of videogames and tv. We'd normally find it unsettling but we're kinda grateful. As long as there's no dead children being used to take out His frustrations, so be it. Hell, it's what we're good at now, watching for patterns yet inwardly sighing with relief when He deviates in a peaceful way. We're Watchers. Or Avoid-Getting-Fucked-Up-ers.
Sandra, however, has been a bit high-strung. By that, we mean more child-at-heart-ish. While still keeping her daily swear average steady. She chased around a butterfly for about half an hour, then shrieked like a damn banshee when Slender caught it in His fist, thinking He'd crush it.
He just opened His hand, looked it over for a bit, and let it go.
He's so calm recently He can't even be fucked to kill a butterfly.
...How do you take a whole bottle of Xanax without a mouth?
I'm just hoping things stay quiet. Proxy Wars be damned, things are almost idyllic here.
Okay, hang on, Slender's outside and His tentacles are out. He does not look happ
What the fuck-something just ran through the bushes.
I don't think it was ///It////...
I'm pretty sure ///It/// still wears clothes...
Goddammit Matt, you just HAD to tempt fate.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Blitz
Sandra's a little on edge now, just check the newest London Librarian. It's not the "Egyptian God" theory that caught her attention, so much as the "Operator Symbol = His Name" theory.
But enough about that for now, she'll probably butthurt over it next time she posts. For now, my kitty.
He's about 23 pounds. He is a huge motherfucker. Look. LOOOOOK.
And Preston hates him.
I asked my cousin to send more pictures from when I went to pick him up, so there'll probably be more later.
That's my disembodied arm petting him, by the way.
-Lya
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