Friday, February 18, 2011

Bwoashit what now?

Okay, I'm a leeeetle stupid right now, since I have a BIGASS MIGRAINE ready to explode my brains out of my ears, but Ava and her mother are in America, correct?

...Ava. DON'T come to East Texas, especially to a small town only a few miles from DFW. Unless you want to wrench off the testicles of a few warring factions of proxies, then by all means.

But seriously, though, the weird shit keeps on happening. In other words...HOW THE SWEET FUCK DO I KEEP MANAGING TO TAKE OUT THOSE PEOPLE?! Some are even showing up with bullets in their hands and legs, and I couldn't shoot a gun for shit even when I still had depth perception! THE HELL ASS BALLS?!

And whatever the fuck is outside that keeps doing that to me is still a complete mystery. And all that shit about animals being able to detect creepy shit is wrong, because Preston doesn't even so much as bash his head against a wall whenever it happens. Oh sure, they can tell when one of the Big Boys or their groupies are around, but not whatever it is that's doing this? FUCK.


Not much else has been happening here, though. I managed to convince Matt and Lya that fuck everything, they deserved to go out and have a nice Valentine's dinner.

So they went. After making sure every door and window was locked, save for a tiny attic window that I tried to peg proxies with tennis balls from. But, of course, since I wasn't possessed or brainwashed or whatever the hell I am when I put them down, I missed. And they laughed at me. So I threw a flashbang, and laughed my ass off as the stupid bastards stumbled into trees.

And when the big kids got back, they brought me a big ass teddy bear. Like, four feet of huggably soft derpery. And some Long John Silvers.


Love you guys.


Except for proxies, because I swear to God if those stupid bastards don't learn to stop congregating near our house...



  1. So you have no idea what's going on?

    Wellll...ordinarily I would NEVER suggest this sort of thing but have you seen Slender lately? Have you asked him about it? If you think he might hurt you for asking, don't, but seeing how you beat him up a while back, I don't think that one question will piss him off THAT much.

    Stay safe.


  2. okokokok

    now that you have said that you are near DFW, im scared as shit.

    why the hell havent i seen anything about this?

    where in the HELL is this happening?!?! because if its near Plano, im gonna freak out or start investigating as to why i havent heard anything about it.

  3. Yeah, I was gonna ask what Alora just did...

    Have you seen Slendy around lately? Because Aiden and his crew has. And I think it's yours. Slendy was just out geocaching with us, in fact.
    While we're on that topic, what about //It//?
    Because I think that's the one pestering US.

    And the proxies. Rofl. Lmao. You make me laugh. So much. xD
    Maybe you should try throwing some firecrackers at them. That'd be entertaining.

  4. Alora- We've only seen Him peeking in to check on us every once and a while. He never stays long enough to write anything on the board, but He seems genuinely surprised at what I've been doing.

    NOOC- Uh...well, we're a bit closer to Fort Worth, kinda between there and Denton in a small town, but...yeah. You might not want to head west towards Reno. And if you do, then you might want to, to paraphrase Ron White, "Find a helmet, and put on the damn helmet." And you probably haven't heard because of how small our town is, the hospital and the high school are the biggest buildings we have.

    Branwen- Oh, honey, you act as if we don't have a big stash o' boom to bring out for Proxy-fuckery. I've found at least twelve knocked out teeth, and two blown-off fingers.

  5. And Branwen- We haven't seen ///It/// for a few weeks. Fucker's probably out, dunno, raping one-eyed two-legged kittens for fun while ///It///'s little bitches are here fighting.


  6. @Sandra: Hmm, so it's not that...and I don't see why ///It/// would have you going after his own proxies, unless they're not his proxies...

    Yeah, I got nothing. Sorry. >.<

  7. Man, those Proxies are like necromorphs. They kill, are sorta like humans, and flock like birds. The only difference is that they don't attack EVERYTHING that is alive. Also, do i have to read numerous blogs to understand what the fuck is going on? And whats with the name at the end? I could put anything there.

  8. Ahahahaha! Yeah, I guess I should have expected the explosives knowing you guys. :P

    I think...///It/// was with us for a bit. But where ///It/// is now I have NO idea.
    Not here though.
    Though I think the bastard left a few of his cronies with us. Slendy says they aren't His. :l

    Thanks for the info, mon amie. Lob some more explodey things at 'em for me, eh?

  9. I don't get it though (First ever blogspot post here), what exactly is ///It///? Some sort of Mr. Slim look alike, which is what most likely what other bloggers are fighting, or some completely different thing? Anyways, best of luck to the H(a)unting crew, stay safe.


  10. @Aeron If what other people say are true, then //it// is just slendy with shoopy loopy limbs. like the troll face guy if you took out the troll face. And the defying of physics.

  11. It's beginning to look like a war is coming...
    Gods help us all if it is.

  12. Lies... All lies... I haven't seen anything of this war and I live around where you say it is happening...

  13. War. War never changes. Or does it? The war has changed. Did it? The answer is no. Unless it is yes. No! Of course it is, it's war. Yes. No. Yes?

  14. I recently spotted a veritable ARMY of Proxies and Hallowed headed for Milwaukee.
    Anyone in Milwaukee prepare for assault.

  15. You are able to speak with Him? Listen, I am one without memories. I woke one day about a week ago without knowing who I am. Could you perhaps try to get some answers from Him for me?

  16. We can try for you too, Pete. I can put in word with Aiden to attempt communication again, just to see if maybe we can get some answers too.
    I can't guarantee that though. He's...vague.

    Slendy's been hangin' 'round here too it seems.

    ~ Branwen

  17. Thank you, but I have a different need for answers from Slender Man now. He has taken captive a friend of Ron's (Slice). I need to find where he has been taken.

  18. Spread the word
    See the world
    Free your mind
    Know the truth
    He Who Waits Behind The Wall

    Spread the word
    For the love of God
    Spread the word

  19. Oh, Sandra... I know this blog is supposed to be serious about shit going down... But you make me laugh so much. Stay safe.