Okay, I'm a leeeetle stupid right now, since I have a BIGASS MIGRAINE ready to explode my brains out of my ears, but Ava and her mother are in America, correct?
...Ava. DON'T come to East Texas, especially to a small town only a few miles from DFW. Unless you want to wrench off the testicles of a few warring factions of proxies, then by all means.
But seriously, though, the weird shit keeps on happening. In other words...HOW THE SWEET FUCK DO I KEEP MANAGING TO TAKE OUT THOSE PEOPLE?! Some are even showing up with bullets in their hands and legs, and I couldn't shoot a gun for shit even when I still had depth perception! THE HELL ASS BALLS?!
And whatever the fuck is outside that keeps doing that to me is still a complete mystery. And all that shit about animals being able to detect creepy shit is wrong, because Preston doesn't even so much as bash his head against a wall whenever it happens. Oh sure, they can tell when one of the Big Boys or their groupies are around, but not whatever it is that's doing this? FUCK.
Ugggghhhh. Abusing caps lock because BIG LETTERS ARE CRUISE CONTROL FOR I AM SO PISSSSSSSED.
Not much else has been happening here, though. I managed to convince Matt and Lya that fuck everything, they deserved to go out and have a nice Valentine's dinner.
So they went. After making sure every door and window was locked, save for a tiny attic window that I tried to peg proxies with tennis balls from. But, of course, since I wasn't possessed or brainwashed or whatever the hell I am when I put them down, I missed. And they laughed at me. So I threw a flashbang, and laughed my ass off as the stupid bastards stumbled into trees.
And when the big kids got back, they brought me a big ass teddy bear. Like, four feet of huggably soft derpery. And some Long John Silvers.
And MOTHERFUCKING GHIRADELLI CARAMEL CHOCOLATE SQUARES.
Love you guys.
I LOVE YOU ALL.
Except for proxies, because I swear to God if those stupid bastards don't learn to stop congregating near our house...